Taylor Swift is so right about you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
