She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
