Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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