it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
