I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
