If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
pop tarts are not kleenex
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
