This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
