have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
