we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
