he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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