i can't believe i had my finger in that
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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