As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
