if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
