There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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