we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
