I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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