I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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