I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
