my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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