I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
