never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
