Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
