you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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