Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
