That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No I am not eating basil off your cock
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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