i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
