so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
