i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
