he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
