is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
