Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
