New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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