pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
