Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
