All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
