he thought i was a dude.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
