Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
