i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
