first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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