I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
