Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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