No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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