I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
