he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
birth control should be required to get into college
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
