Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
