Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
