Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
