Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
