Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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