I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
