I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
