Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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